Emotional

I have been going to technology training all week and I have learned a lot of cool things. But, it is making me realize that my time at home with my children is soon over for the summer. This morning I had an emotional breakdown, just because the tub was backed up again. I plunged the hell out of my tub, which didn’t really do anything and then yelled at Tim (he did a great job unclogging the tub with our wet vac – he finally was able to remove the shampoo cap that went down the drain this past winter). Which I regret doing and have apologized. I just feel so down in the dumps every time I think about going back. I just wonder how am I going to be able to be a good mom and a good teacher at the same time. I have so much more to worry about with two children and I added to my work load at school by taking on an extra position as “Lead Tutor” for our extended day program. I took the position because it will bring extra $$$$$ into the house to help pay for childcare and to give me a different aspect of the teaching world, a leadership role. I hope I did the right thing.

I just don’t want to go back to the stress. I have a feeling this year will be very interesting and frustrating. At this point in my life I think I’m soon ready for a change in schools or something. I think it really has to do with the leadership in our building. Our principal is very demanding and does not understand the need to spend time with family. She has no children and her husband doesn’t even live with her (in a different country).

One of my friends is very interested in getting a literacy position in our building in the near future and she went to talk to our principal and ask her what she needs to do to get the job. She was told that she shouldn’t be walking out the door at 3:30 and she should show more leadership skills. Well, I nearly died when I heard that as a union rep (How dare you say something like that! She is contracted until 3:30 and after 3:30 it is her time). My friend is a single mom of 3 children and needs to pick them up by a certain time from childcare or she has to pay double. Give her a break, she is doing what she needs to do to be a good mother to her wonderful children. She gets her work done and she is a great teacher. The thing is, our literacy coach now, doesn’t stay past 3:30. She’s out the door before the bell even rings in her car ready to go home and she doesn’t even have children living at home with her anymore.

Sorry that I’m complaining sooooo much. I just get so frustrated at the politics that go on at school. I went to college to teach and that’s what I want to do. I’m tired of jumping through hoops and barking on command. Let me do my job and let me do it well. I feel that I’m a damn good teacher and should get more credit instead of all the negativity that goes with being a teacher. Yes, I “get the summers off”, but it’s really not a vacation when you have to revamp your lessons and think about different ways that you can reach into the minds of our wonderful children. I would love to challenge anyone who thinks teaching is easy and that we get paid to much. Come and step foot in my classroom the first week of school and do the job I do, let’s see how far you get. I bet some of you wouldn’t make it the first day. I’m very thankful for the gift that I have been given to teach and I’m proud of it!

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2 thoughts on “Emotional

  1. Okay, first, I want to start out saying….use me! Anyway you can. If I don’t know how to do something, show me, I’m a fast learner! I really want to be there to make your job easier. (I’m very computer literate, use that too!) Okay?

    Second, you rock as a mommy! And you rock as teacher! I am always so impressed when I come into that room. Always! You do a fantastic job targeting each and everyone of those kids, as different as they are.

    And, I understand about the politics thing. Dang I had no idea when I was just a volunteer, and then when I started working there, Wow! Your job is a demanding one, and I think you’re right on target when you say most people wouldn’t last a day in a teaching position. I know I wouldn’t. I get people ask me if I want to go back to school to be a teacher and my answer is NO WAY! I love my job. I love supporting the teachers any way I can, but I sure could not do the job you do. Lesson plans, making sure that what you are teaching coincides with a standard and knowing what that standard is. Even coloring has to have a standard! Holy Cow!

    I don’t know how you do it, but you do it well.

    And I mean it, call on me, ask me. I’m there if I can help! And if I don’t know how, I’ll learn. K?

    Hugs!

  2. You said it sister!

    I am with you on all of this…being emotional about the return, needing a change (I’m so sad I didn’t even get an interview this summer….it really hurt my teacher self-esteem), people thinking we need to eat/sleep/breath this job even though we have little ones to care for and I LOVE your challenge. I would like to see people who don’t like teachers to do this job.

    By the way – you will be great in your new role- you will handle leadership well!

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